You're Gonna Miss This

Having two kids some days is tough...the kind of tough where all you can do is grit your teeth and just get through it. It is trying on your patience as there is still only one "you" to go around but way more area for you to cover- some days I feel like I'm spread pretty thin, but as I sit back each day and examine what I/we have done, I am constantly amazed at how amazingly capable I am and how wonderful my children are. You are somehow able to stretch to capacity.
     I thought that only parents with teenagers or no kids at home would talk about how much they missed things their kids did when they were young, but I am already realizing that so many of the things I have adored about each of my boys, they have already outgrown. That country song, "you're gonna miss this" came on the other day and brought me to tears- pitiful I know- but I find the words already ringing so true in my head- you're gonna miss this- you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast..." what's a rough day when at least they are still yours for the holding, scolding and soothing. Yours to read stories and listen to bare flat feet romping across the floor, yours to sing lullabies and rock on you lap for a little while until they go off someday to a family of their own...yikes... Ben is no longer a sleepy newborn and hasn't been for a while he is a jabbermouth smiley wide-awake infant- already so much less of a cuddler  than he was but still oh so rolly and cuddly. Ben you little tease, if you don't want to get oodles of cuddles you shouldn't have back of the neck rolls and 3 chins and rubber band wrist rolls and forearm rolls and then the leg rolls, don't even get me started!

 and then Ethan, oh Ethan is just getting so big. Literally. He's big- 75th percentile for height- who knew but then he is pretty lanky- so there's hope for you Ben lol you may not be short and chubby forever, just long enough for me to get a million chubby cuddles before you grow into a little boy. Anyway today for the first time my little Ethan boy, my first baby said pweez- no big deal right? Wrong! He's been a slow talker and never finishes words, for example dog is da, on is ah, and please has always just been buh- so there you go. I realized today that my little boy is growing up so stinking fast. And he now wrestles, empties bottles- tries to put lotion on his toothbrush, empties my underwear drawer and hides underclothing in the pantry, he plugs things in everywhere, can get through almost every babyproofing device, and sometimes just for fun he bites my bum while I'm doing dishes. He is SO not a baby anymore, he's a boy- all boy.

My next thought...disciplining is a terrible ordeal that in the beautiful thoughts I had on parenting when I looked at my sweet baby, never crossed my mind for a second...and every time the little boy creature I love does something incredibly naughty, half the time it is still kind of cute, and even when it's not, there is something so heartbreaking about seeing that little face that always looks at you with the deepest levels of admiration and adoration, look at you like you are the bad guy. I hate it, but darn it all the only way to not have to do it is to be a neglectful parent, or bare the perfect child, and lets not kid ourselves on that one, we all think they are perfect, but if they're here with us there must be something they have yet to learn. And there is something oh so cute about a mischievous face as well...

I love being a mom- I can't believe how fast the time goes and how fleeting childhood is- I am already getting a glimpse into the future when all of a sudden I don't have babies anymore and I find myself oogling over some strangers new baby in public...that day will come all too soon.

One day these faces are going to be something left only in memories and photographs, and that kills me a little inside...I adore my cuddles and snuggles, the kissing of owies, the toddler talk and jabber, the cooing baby sounds and uncensored baby laughter. It still seems hard to fathom them not being my little ones forever!