Through Ethan's Eyes

Every once in a while I have a moment of complete clarity and the most beautiful realizations hit me. Typically these clear moments come after a hard day of motherhood or when I feel particularly tired of being pregnant and need reminding why it is all worth it. The other day as I was outside on the lawn with Ethan as he was "collecting" rocks and handing them to me I just sat and watched him, and I mean REALLY watched him and it hit me how truly wonderful and magnificent the world is through the eyes of a child. Everything is "more" of what it seems to us as adults. I think children see the world more as it actually is, or at least how it is meant to be seen. It is more beautiful in every possible way, more fascinating to explore, every adventure a little more promising. They have a way of seeing everything at a maximum value, and as I try and look at the world through Ethan's eyes I find myself so very much more grateful for every little thing. For the beauty of a freshly blown bubble, the wonder of how nicely a ball can bounce off your foot, and how calming a nice cuddle in the earlier morning hours can be. I've always enjoyed when David gets home from work, but as Ethan spots that orange car coming down the driveway and takes off full-fledged awkward legged sprinting with his arms flapping in every direction I feel an excitement that makes me reminiscent of earlier on in married life when I couldn't bear being away from David for a second, much less a full day of work. And as I thought about being frustrated as Ethan handed me dirt-coated rock after rock, I took one look at the sparkle in his eyes as he examined each black pebble below his feet before selecting the next gem, I realized it's not really about everything we have around us being what we dreamed or imagined it to be but more about making everything we have become that dream we dreamed. Opening our eyes wide enough that a plain matte black rock becomes a shiny black gem that has been tumbled until it gleams. Children live with their eyes wide open to possibility, and why shouldn't we all. Though having children means that sometimes you will have more tears, you will also have more smiles, though frustration can become more intense, your successes have more meaning, and though I am sure there will also be many moments of more intense heartache there is also a deeper feeling of a more perfect love that you learn and grow from everyday. I love seeing the world through Ethan's eyes and thank my Father in Heaven every day that he has given me a little boy, and not just any little boy, but my little Ethan who so perfectly fits me. He may not look a smidge like me, but his hand sure fits nicely in mine and his sweet little smile speaks perfection to my soul. I love being his mom.

You may wonder why he is sitting on a diaper box, fly swatter in hand and head clad in underwear...well stop wondering, you'll never know and neither will I

Can we say spoiled?

Chasing a flock of birds...there was much giggling and awkward arm flapping

This is his best goose egg yet...and this is a few hours after the fact so the swelling had gone down significantly. After his head initially made contact with the cement floor it looked like the cap of a pop bottle was sticking out of his forehead. Yes it was pretty nasty, David's initial thought was that his brains must be oozing out of his skull...yes a little dramatic

Love this sweet smile, and it takes a lot of effort to get it on camera.