Everyone familiar with the phrase..."And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse..." ok so I'm sure that phrase has come back to bite us all a time or two- in fact I think that we should automatically assume, oh yes it can always get worse- otherwise we are unnecessarily alarmed and horrified. Well I have realized little by little, beginning with a newborn crash-course, just how unpredictable infant bodily functions can be- so yes this
is going to be a poop story blog- if given a family rating it would be PG-13 because you definitely have to be a mature audience to appreciate the content...but we'll get to that part later, so without further adieu...may I present our feature film totally Hegstrom style....
THE GOOD
We have a healthy happy 4-month-old baby weighing in at...drumroll please
a solid
16 lbs (70th percentile)
and measuring in at
25 1/2 inches long (70th percentile)
*At four months old he has now moved up to size 3 diapers- granted they are still a little big on him as he is at
the bottom recommended weight for that size. And is fitting
very well in 3-6 month clothes and some 6-9
*He still
loves to shower, but is now finally enjoying baths, especially sink baths- he's learned how to splash
and thinks it's hysterical
*He laughs out loud a
lot and makes tons of silly faces- I think he got his Dad's personality (hopefully his
mothers temperament :)
*He likes to read books, and yes I mean
he reads them- if I am reading he constantly interrupts me with his
jabber and it sounds like he knows exactly what the book says and that's he's the one reading it to
me!
*He sleeps 8-10 hours EVERY NIGHT!!!
Basically he keeps us on our toes but we love him to death and are grateful for him every day- especially when we wake up in the morning after a full-nights rest!
THE BAD
*He has tried rice cereal...and he did not like it...it's a work in progress and I think he was offended that I would try to feed him something that tastes like mommy's milk through a spoon- I mean what kind of mother does that right? ;)
* He doesn't like other babies...especially when his mom or dad are holding them...
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| ...can you tell? |
AND THE EXTREMELY UGLY
So you know those moments when you are cuddling your adorable little baby and adoring every inch of their perfect little bodies, then you hear the rumbling down below, followed by a huge cheesy smile, followed by...well you know...
that sound, and you know instantly that's it's gonna be bad and you pray silently that the poor diaper holds strong...do you know which moment I mean? Well Tuesday I had one of those, only due to a culmination of highly unfortunate events it didn't end well for me...firstly, my sons bowels function almost too well, secondly he's at an awkward diaper size phase so 2's are too small and 3's drown him, and thirdly I waited a split second too long, although I don't know if it would have helped...all I know is that in that fateful moment of praying for the diaper and then the feeling of warmth on my stomach(where his little bottom was resting against me, and then the warmth traveling- I knew that things had just gotten worse- in fact maxed out- and before I could do anything there was a mustard puddle in my lap- now I didn't know what to do- if I sat there it would soak down into all my layers, if I got up it would be on the floor- I surveyed the scene and discovered a perfectly innocent spit rag- the only thing within reaching distance and as I grabbed it from the other side of the couch I prayed for it's forgiveness as I mopped up my lap so that I could begin the recovery process. Upon standing I realized that among the casualties were: everything he was wearing (naturally)- down to his sock, unfortunately everything I was wearing, and really unfortunately the nursing pillow and the couch...in immediate frustration I wanted to curse at his diaper- I am pretty sure in the heat of the moment the darn thing just said to itself, "Forget this, I am not going down this way" because it looked as though the poo had dodged the diaper entirely, I mean he would've been just as well off without a diaper. So the Kirkland diapers get an F for effort and they are currently on my hit list...anyway- I proceeded to waddle my son back to the bathroom sink where I balanced him while I stripped off my poo-stained clothing and then proceeded to peel off his- unfortunately for his perfectly nice head- there was no way to get his clothing off without giving him a poo streak through his hair- so we proceeded (and oh it was horrifying) and then came the fateful moment where I thought to myself, "this couldn't possibly get any worse" and then he did it- massive projectile vomit all over us both, followed by some of his happiest, poop and spit-covered naked smiles, an immediate bath- and due to lots of calm breathing,
no cursing- it just wasn't worth it!
Viewer discretion advised on the following picture...
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| OH THE HORROR!!!! This doesn't even begin to show it! |
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So I guess this is the life of a mother- no one to hold my hand and tell me that this happens all the time, no one to pat my back and congratulate me on my amazing execution of the cleanup, but the most adorable someone to flap wildly and smile at me while continuing to fling poop around- and yes, I suppose that's all the thanks I needed- and you know what? I'm pretty sure life doesn't get much more rewarding than that! I love my little boy!
